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Sunday, January 6th, 2002
1:54 pm - new name
i changed my user name from this one (stebler) to "cheepwine"

okie day.

later.

current mood: blah

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Saturday, December 15th, 2001
10:00 am - The man that killed math.
I've never been more happy for something related to school..I DROPPED ALGEBRA!!! yes! i am so fucking happy that i dont have to deal with that man any more, i hate my math teacher. he's such a fucking asshole. But the best thing is, i get off at 12:40 every day now until next sememster, thats about four more weeks of school. so that is pretty fuckin awesome. But i have to take mechanical drawing next semester and algebra 1 for a semester again Junior year. but its all good, cuz i got a really bad start this year so basicly i'm getting a seconed chance. yay! everything is so great right now! i love my girlfriend (and she loves me ^_^) my grades are going up, thus making my parents not as mad at me anymore, and i have a therepist so im able to deal with my problems in good ways. cool. oh yeah! and i am 16 so now i can go to 16+ shows without asking my parents..sorta. anyway, i need to smoke, i was pretty sure i was quitting but then i smoked again. i am realizing i am incapable of such things. but i did quit smoking cigarrets, bc they were making me feel like an old person, with no energy!! weird? nah. bye bye now.

-quote of the week:
"if i'm not jamaican then why would i be wearing dis hat?" - half baked.

-Song of the Week:
MidTown: Get it Together.

"..trying to forget those good times? maybe you never were mine, i got all this pain i need to let go. becuase, youve got so much with youre life, you gotta settle for. a need to feel a need to try- need to feel whole, do you feel whole? Maybe we'll see this through if we get it together, maybe ill get to you if we get it together. go, try, try to make yourself right. go, try to make this right. ..ive got something i need to know. cuz i try, try to forget the past times, or were you ever just fine? was there something i didnt show? try to make yourself right, and move on with your life. maybe we'll see this through, if we get it together.."

-person currently on my mind 24/7:
danielle.

^_^

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Thursday, December 13th, 2001
4:06 pm - what's 9+7??
16! yea, my birthday is today and i am 16! i got lots of hugs and stuff, and my friend got me this kick ass old skool transformers poster that fuckin rocks! (yea i am a nerd!!) i love transformers!
AND this girl that i really really hate and have known since like 6th grade said happy birthday to me, and i was like "fuck you!" hehe, kinda mean but she is a bitch anyways! and that is the only thing she has ever said to me since i have known her, kinda freaks me out.. i got out of school early and traveld like nomads over to danielles house, and i met her friend casey and his friend brad, whom were both way cool, and got to ride in his BMW. we listened to tenacious D, which was so fuckin hilarous. i wanna have a crazy fucked up party and get so messed up with allll my friends!! but alas, that will be really hard. :( hm, some other time! im happy because it is my birthday and i am 16 and all, but most of all i am happy becuase danielle and i are going back out!! yay!! i love her..lots and lots! she was sick today, so i brought her some flowers. ^_^ i am not going to fuck things up with her, like i did before..no way not at all! hrm, well, gotta go! were eating at takara for my bday dinner, i love that place! mm mm good eatin! k, buh bye and i love everyone!! ^_^

current mood: cheerful

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Sunday, November 25th, 2001
11:03 am - shizzle.
i went to buy my mom a birthday present yestrday, and my friend lacey. my mom really liked the necklace i got her, so thats good. im going to laceys bday party today, with danielle, but i think were leaving early to hang out with topher bc he is leaving tomarrow!! sad!! last night i went swing dancing with danielle and purpled haird danielle (lol) and alyssa brandon and lara. it was pretty fun. swinging was complicated at first but i rememberd most of the steps so i didnt look like that much of a retard.. danielle looked hot in her dress, and i looked like a bum cuz i was wearing a stoopid sweatshirt and pants, (it was a last minute thing) but altogether it was fun. the other danielle is funny, and cool. well i am failing 2/3 of my classes at school, and my parents are going to transfer me to some drop out school called Delta School... i wonder how that will go. i wouldnt know anybody.. and i will miss my friends at school. so shizzle. my life is actually pretty good right now. i have the best girlfriend ever, or only.i love danielle, in love, all sorts. Arizona really sucked but i got to go to a party, actually i snuck out, but it was cool. the guy i met was cool too. he was all religious but thats ok cuz he was drunk and he was giving me advice on my relationship. it was kinda funny...mk, i just got back from lacys party. it was pretty chill. we watched some movies. i got her a cd she wanted so, im glad she liked the present i got her. i got a ton of homework to do. ahh! we didnt go with topher today, i feel bad. we will see him tomarrow fo sho though, so that is good! k, done. +steph+

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, October 24th, 2001
7:32 pm - i missin everyone.
monday mom wakes me up and says were going to arizona..today. wtf? no time to plan anything. but i went to school (my zero pr. class anyway)the only person i said i was leaving to was danielle. so we decided to skip that jive and leave school.. (we ditched the rest of the day) we went down town and ate breakfast and smoked a few cigs and saw a movie and had a mighty good time. fun. very! ok..so here i am, chillin at my laptop. im in tuscon, arizona. ill be here till sunday or monday. i miss everybody!! i think zach hates me. well, maybe not "hates" but something is defenetly up. he acts like im not one of his best friends, (the only friend that called him while he was away and spread the good word about him)well. im gonna have to deal with that later, when i get back. but yo, this is cool. i met this guy at my hotel and hes like "yo, california, party in room 454 at 9. he was like 17 or somethng, so i think ill go to that if i can get outta my room with a good excuse. gotta go. ciao.

current mood: discontent

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Saturday, October 13th, 2001
9:24 am - si, por favor?
k well, im happy cuz my big bro called last night when danielle was over. he is funny..i accidently said motha fucka and he thought it was hilarious, he promised not to tell my mom. my bro rocks! (hes 24..or something like that)i smoked a cigarette the other day and it was chillin, the taste wasnt all that good, but it was pretty calming. cuz i am all stressn. damn they are addictive cuz now i want another, megacock (meagan) will hook me up with one. i also am in the mood to be roasty toasty! (stoned).. i am not usually in the mood, i just will do it as a social thing. but with all the stuff going on, i need to be grilled. were having a garage sale at my house..come and buy all our wonderfull SHIT. i just sold my acoustic for 10 bucks. im kinda sad, but hey, 10 bucks! 10 + 5 = 15 and another 5 will buy me a twamp. am i like desperate or what? no not really.. but probly! i donno, *ambivilent* right.. im a dork!! right. time to go. oh, i saw what robot i am from robohouse.com, and i am "underneath my skin i am really, the IRON GIANT, big hunk of metal love!!" cool..well, ciao chillaz!

current mood: anxious

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Thursday, October 4th, 2001
7:20 pm - the working class
wow! crazy stuff..theres so much stuff to say i cant really put it in words..really i cant!but i will try.. im a happy person. zach is back, i got a job, and im getting a 50% F in math, as well as other things..!! omg that soo good for me! lol..tomarrow im leaving when lunch starts and i think im going to a movie with zach, i dont know what we are going to see. but it should be fun. i went to my first day of work yesturday too, it was rad! there were all kinds of drunk ppl and chicks fighting and drama like that, my work is exciting!!its easy too, and i get tips..yes! my superviser goes to harbor, shes a senior and she is so rad! so is my other supervisore. and the guy the works at the bar is fucken awesome cuz he is way hot and hes the one that pretty much got me the job. woohoo! im gonna have fun there. its pretty easy too, and im excited as hell! yay! super rad!i wrote a song today thats pretty cool, its called "cant make up my mind" its about decisions and shit, but its good, zach liked it and he is like pro-song writter dood. props for that! i have to work tomarrow, i think till 11 or so, they didnt say when but they said pretty late, and they dont serve past 11 so..yeah..s'all for now!

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Monday, October 1st, 2001
8:35 pm - macoroni and cheese.
life isnt all that bad!! just when things look like the worst, things get better! zach is back and i missed that crazy mofo. he got really hot! omg! sexy! ANYway.. he has never kissed a girl.. i think thats sooo cute! hehe.. i think im going to be jelouse.. cuz i know for a fact that theres going to be all kinds of girls going after him! augh..hes like my best friend that is a guy..hes incredibly sweet and smart, i dont understand why i dont like him any more than a friend.. im so weird! i like this other guy who has the same qualities, but he is not as good looking as zach! wtf? im such a dork! im not sure if he still likes me.. i dont think he does..but then i kinda get these vibes that he does when im around him! shit! maybe i am just paranoid..cuz i dont want to hurt him again, i feel so bad when i think about it. he is a good guy. i respect him alot. im sooo soso happy now for some reason..weird. im not usually like this..zach showed up at my house all the sudden. i made tons of mac & cheese and he helped me eat it! yum.

current mood: bouncy

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Saturday, September 29th, 2001
9:46 am - zach!
Zach is BACK!!! ooohhh myyy god! this has got to be the most exciting week of my life. well, he is not back yet, but he will be here today around 5! im gonna kiss that foo. i missed him soo much!! i feel like running around the block screaming he is comming back today. im soo sososo happy!!! i just called lacey and told her hell be here and she started screaming and running around all happy and shit. it was funny..i gotta call everyone. damn vivien wont answer the phone.im like telling everyone online zach is comming back and they are like who? im just so fucking happy! *sigh* ill write more later, when he gets here!

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Wednesday, September 19th, 2001
6:18 pm
i was telling danielle about my plans for running away. im gonna get that job at portola house untill a make enough money for a plane ticket and extra spending money. then im going to live with my bro in michigan, bc i know he would love to have me there. my bros are cool like that (sept kris). danielle was like "no!!" and then i gave her a big hug cuz i realized what i was saying. theres no doubt in my mind that i want to get away from my parents, but i forgot about my friends. i dont want to leave them. but viv is leaving, zach is gone and lacey seems to be floating away. i hope she isnt! i love lacey! *sigh* what am i gonna do?kevin doesnt like me, i know that now. we used to talk alot and now it seems like hes avoiding me, even though i make no attemp to talk to him.. he like..ugh. im so sad now. i really liked him, maybe too much. but its been a while since i have liked someone that i would actually want to go out with. my life sucks. i wanna die right now.

current mood: crushed

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Monday, September 17th, 2001
5:00 pm - life? i dont give a fuck.
shit! my week and today have just really fucking sucked so much! arrgh! im so frustrated i dont even think i could type about it. one of those things where you hurt so much even writting about it or talking to someone just makes things feel even shittyer. the only good thing is that i got to talk to zach. i miss him so much. and i miss my brother. i miss all of them. i feel like running away from home and not looking back and finding a better place to go. but then again, this is like the best place to be sometimes. im crying now and ill be crying the rest of my life even if im not showing it. when im walking out of 00 pr. ill be crying, when im eating my godamned lunch ill be crying. maybe i should just isolate myself for a while and not talk to anyone untill ive sorted things out. im so fucking tired,not physically. mentally. i cant think straight my mind is going in circles 1 2 3 4 5 im just trying to stay in touch with my sanity bc i think im losing it. i hate poeple asking me questions i hate explaining to poeple why i feel a certain way i hate who what where when why how and most of all; i hate my godamn parents. they make things so hard for me. always pushing me into things never letting me explain why i do things never letting me have a fucking life of my own they always have to know every little detail and i have no fucking privacy!!! like i was telling danielle i have never commited to more than one person. one person. and i hate this person. i hate the fact that i was even commited to them. if i could take it all back i would. ill leave it alone but i regret it totally. i dont wanna date now i dont wanna commit. i give up.

current mood: cold

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Thursday, September 13th, 2001
9:08 pm - heres another crazy.
the title of this entry is dedicated to vivien!! aha, ok.. anyway, jessie is telling me about the us history homework, i didnt even know there was homework! shit! its k, i have time. im all retarded now tho, cuz i smoked pot like 4 days ina row. im such a bad girl!! lol.. i got wind that this chick courtney likes kevin too.. ugh! assasination is what need to be done here..oh! zach called me today! yes i am so happy, heehee.. yay! the sad thing is he doesnt think hell be able to come to cali untill school is over. sucks!! aarrghh! i miss that boy. all this terrorist stuff is trippin me out! it feels like one of those dreams that are so real, that when you think about them you cant remember if it was or not, but it wasnt a dream. so its crazy weird like that.. i havnt been doing my math homework. im going to fail and take it as a junior! i suck at math and i suck at school i should just drop out and go live with my bro befor i get mualed by responsibilities. which will happen eventually anyways. whatever who cares, i dont. i dont think i care about any thing right now. im having problems being seriouse with anything. i dont know where i want to go what i want to be who i want to be with whatever, i dont even know what i want for dinner. i probly dont know cuz i smoked myself retarded. 4 days in a row and today i couldnt even answer a question my US history teacher asked im just like "umm, a smart person invented the plow..what?" all retaRDED LIKE. whoa caps lock.. im such a fuck up! i miss my bro cuz if he was here he would do my math homewrk for me! :( i miss zach too! uggh poeple are asking too many questions, my brain is overlaoding!!gotta go

current mood: weird

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Monday, September 10th, 2001
11:06 pm
well yesturday was pretty crazy. i went shopping for a good pipe at the flea market, which i found. i was also pretty sick and almost purged allover chris' new shoes. then i went home and rested, did some chores then went to sams house. it was pretty chillin. i got a phat twamp from sean. sam is all cray psycho pot nazi now though.. its crazy.. today i ditched b4. i fel kinda bad. and i was all stoned.. so i was ripped two days ina row.. excpet chris told me danielle was mad at me bc i smoked which totally freaked me like whoa. but she was never mad, no way! thats good! but still i quit smoking anyway cuz i respect ppl like that. thats all for now.done.

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Saturday, September 8th, 2001
7:43 pm
i havnt been updating my entries bcuz my new/used computer really sucks electronic ass. so my entries are going to be few and far between form now on. the last week, well, went by pretty fast. today i was really sick and barely got out of bed all day. :( except for i eventually did cuz i went to a football game. we lost. i saw kevin tho, he is so hot in his football uniform. hehe. then i went back home and rested. yesturday was pretty wild. i heard danielle go pee in a bush, lol. im like, "I CAN HEAR YOU!!". im angry at my dad bcuz he is being so unfair to her!! ugh! hopefully he will get over this bcuz its completely not right. and he like, "isnt speaking to me" grr!! well, i will write more later. im too tired and too sick! done.

current mood: sick

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Saturday, September 1st, 2001
9:06 pm - O.. o... oh.. no?
today was pretty good cuz i thought i was gonna have a boring saturday. but i didnt! i was going to see a movie with ana, and danielle. but then ana couldnt go so it was just me and her. i paid! hehe. the movie was pretty ruanchy. the end was horrible! but i am over it. then we walked to saturn cafe and had a late lunch. i paid again! its ok cuz i owed danielle NEway. then we ate. and then we had to run for the bus and i got all winded and i couldnt breath! we thought we were gonna miss the bus, but we didnt.so that is pretty good. on the bus there was this crazy guy with mustache like captain hook from peter pan. and i saw this guy sean that i hadnt seen since a 420 party back in the day. when we got to danielles house her sister and brandon were gettin there freak on so we skipped that jive and walked to the beach. we saw seals. well, danielle saw seals.. i saw some birds! yea! i dont think they were seals though.. anyway. my bro is leaving in two days and i am pretty sad. i was all crying the other night. its weird though cuz me and him were never really close. we were like "mutual". we never really botherd eachother, weird huh? im going to be alone..with my parents..not good! i mean, first they call my a failure and now they are calling me irrisponsible! i mean, wtf? ughh! they make me so angry! haha, carmelita sent me a pornolizer thing. this is funny. "it was pretty rad. barfs girl hit the spanking ball short of the motherfucking outfielder. but i ran out and dove for it. the smooching coach was all freakin out like "whoa asslicks girl already made the fingering team!" " hahahaha. thanks carma! k, i have to go wash dishes or something. bye.

current mood: hyper

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Friday, August 31st, 2001
5:25 pm - heath bar.
today at school rocked. in 00 we just watched a movie and i fell asleep. yay. then in health i got to sit with viv and jason and we were busten up the whole time. we had to do this thing where we wrote "health" in a square on a big peice of paper and then right in a couple words what our meaning of it. jason viv and i wrote some pretty random shit. viv wrote "heath bar" and "sucks" which has no meaning.. jason started off with, "supercalfragilisticespialadocious" and, "boobs"... so it was a pretty good day. i have some homework though! ugh! i didnt get to talk to kevin today. he has a football game right now at cabrillo, too bad i cant go see. this weekend feels like its going to be boring. i hope not. i already had a pretty boring summer. oh well. i was pretty sad the other day though. my parents were fighting and i heard them calling me a failure. i guess i must be in there eyes since i never do anything they want me to, and have no plans for the futer. i have plans.. i just dont know what yet. sall for now.

current mood: crazy

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Thursday, August 30th, 2001
3:51 pm - num-chucks.
i began my seconed day of school today. i hate B days. they are SO long. i have US history 00 prd. and then 3 more 100 minute classes after that. ugghh! well, its been pretty nice seeing everyone agian. and a few new people that transferd and new poeple all together.. the good thing is i have my 00 class with kevin. i hope the teacher sits us together.. :) i still am not sure if he likes me.. aw shit. moms home! got to go now.

current mood: anxious

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Sunday, August 26th, 2001
11:39 am - sunday.
i had tryouts today. the coaches are really impressed with me. i was all tired too. i like did all kinds off shit to get the ball. it was pretty rad. one time this girl hit the ball short of the out fielder but i ran out and dove for it. the coach was all freakin out like "whoa this girl already made the team." it was all amusing. i also got my ears repeirced so thats pretty rad, i need to go buy some earings. now i gotta clean my room. but first im gonna take a nap, cuz im waay tired. k, done.

current mood: drained

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Friday, August 24th, 2001
8:07 pm - scrood
the week has been long and boring. livejournal hasnt worked on my computer for a while. but so far nothin has really happen since my last journal entry...boring. hmm, well one thing happened though, i went to school to get my schedule and did. i saw kevin when i was leaving. it was pretty cool, we talked for a little bit. yay! maybe he likes me? i donno, its all hard to tell! shit! well today i saw jay and silent bob strike back. it was pretty funny and i was laughing my ass off. it was kinda dumb though.. thats ok, it wasnt that bad. i went with danielle and her sister and her neice. was all fun. tomarrow im going to san francisco to see my cousin, whos way cool. then were gonna go shopping i think...hopefully...zach will be here in a few months. yay!

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Monday, August 20th, 2001
10:45 pm
life sucks a bitch. my dad tells me he may have cancer, i got high (something i didnt plan on doing for a long time) i cried over someone today. and im all stressen about seein this guy...im just one pmsing sack of shit!

current mood: sad

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